August 1983: I visit West Bromwich in 333 Slices

Murder. Rape. Incest. Cancer. With all this, I just had to bring you to...

Queens Square, West Bromwich

So I went to West Bromwich for some lunches and decided to do a travelog. This means I will walk and talk u through some of the sights and scene sof westeros bromage. Some of them feature acient relics or DC Thompson legal fees.

Scene 1: The Crying Cereal Eaters

I made my entrace to Queens Squart on a Monday morning. After weakening from sever blood sugar issues I was greeted by this scene. What is this you ask? What is this you ask? Hold on, got to pick up my kid from school

What this scene depicts is a gathering of cereal cunchers who have gathered for the anunal west bromwich cereal weeping ceremony. Every August 5th, people come from all over Sandwell, make a bowl of cereal, then sit on the floor in the main space and proceed to cry tears of fear into their boels of cereal. One local told me "this is to comemerate the event in 1572 when Black Jason fell over a child's scab only to land in a bowl of the King's Cereal, a crime for which he was be-bottled.". Another local told me "get eh fuck out of my country you migrant clapper". We did laugh at that

Scene 2::: The weekly old lady scream & swipe

Moving on to the area outside Mothercare (I was going to buy some new prams as all mine have worn out) I was presented with this scene. I took a cheeky photo on my kerrygold camera. I wasn't sure wot to make of this to be fayre, I thought maybe I'd walked into some oap orgy. But no, no, one local told me "this is a weekly re-enactment of the day in 1863 when a bunch of old cancer women decided to slice the pectoral muscles off all of their first born sons so satisfy the king, but it went bad and they ended up having a scrap to the death.!"

I was shocked when the local told me rthis story.

Anorher local man told me "do you know if there's a halal butcher around here" WHICHW qwas absolutely fascinating to me. The phoito below is one I took on my Kerrygold camera, but just after I took thhe photo/snap the lasy in pink suffered a fairly bad stoke and had to be carried off. To my amazmement the other old ladys started chanting "Allah is great" to an entrawled crowd that had gathered. I put my clothes back on and carried on with my tour

Scene 3: The Tesco Sausage Feline

I moved on from the old ladies chanting to allah and stuff ansd made my way to Tesco. I had to go here becuse i needed to go upstairs and buy some toys for my lads. Joshua was liberated fro the Borg collective last week and needs a lot of toys to keep huimself occupied. ANyway, when I got there, this is what I saw....a cat sitting on a massive pile of tesco sauaasges.

I asked around, and one local told me "oh that's Tesco Cat. He;s just guarding the morning's sauasge delivery". the local told me he was born in 1964 and had a triple bi-pass and was only at Queens Square to get some keys cut. Anotehr local told me "yeah this cat is paid by Tesco to make sure none of the other shops steal the sauasges that are being delivered to Trascos."

I took a photo of the cat on my lurpack camera. I did atempt to approach the cat while flapping my arms in a ciruclar distressed motion, but he wasn't havig any of it. He just stared me down. one local told m3 "I think you should go home, my love. You've been here too long and the portal home is starting to close."  I thanked him with a gentle kiss to her neck and made me way home. As I made my way, I caould hear the cat beginning to chant "Allah is great!" over and over.

One local told me "Hold ym hand and I'll put a a curly wurly in your trouser leg". We did laft.

Anyway, thats my travelodge for today. if you have any ideas for where I can go next, leave your ideas in the comments below. Don't forget to smah that like button and subscribe. As alwats thax for watching

When Will Kiar Starmer?

 I'm waiting for my dinner to cook so I thought Id write some thing here for myself and yourself t read in future dates

I thought id give an update on ym comic book illustrated career as its been quilt quilt demo fuck for a while

in this lovely fuckenging frame of my latest comic book, capten picard is growing a FUCKING flower of shit out of his chest/cheek. Why did this happen? I dont even know, I wasnt at my drawing des when it happened.

I have write to birmingham council asking them to change my fucking address

in thi s fucking frame, a chest has been exposed on the bridge oif the Orion. I'm not one of those people who likes ot fat shame, but look at yhat fat piece of cunt

next picture please Darren...

in this piece of shit, a fucking fluke has happened, this shsouldnve been prevented by the birmingham council as I paid some tax to them last year and this should be enuough for this bullshit to be fucked off and dead

next fucking slice of shells please darren

now its time to be romantic and sensitiv as this final frame is appauling. look at this bullshit - a man has been captured by Hamas and forced to squirt bum oil on a crack sometimes I think its okay to hate my own offspring but tod

they cancelled season 87 of Porridge. Ronnie Barker thrust his moon bastards up my sister's dog chunt

I've Bought a Televvision

Flacid proto

    Yes hello <insert_name> what do you want?

                                                        Can't you

                                                                        see

                                                                               I'm

                                                                                       busy?

 

 I jest of course, I'm glad you're hear I've been fee;lin lonely. 

What's new in the life of Romarn Trumps I hear me type, well yesterday day I bought a new television with my pocketmoney. My last tellyvision was worn out from being so lonely

first thing I did when I turned it on is slicked in a boxset of my favelite tvb shog, "XENA Warriar Princess".

I've loved this show since I was a tiny bitch 

Consequently, I thought I'd share

Having thought about this some more

I like you. WOuld you like to go on a date?

There is one precondition for us being a couple...-you must love Xena as muich as meeb. My granded introdiuced me to xena, here are some cips I've taken from the show (these pictures were tasken of my TV screen using a Canon s500 camera, whic am the best for traking pictures of tv, it's what Peter Jackson used for Lord of the Rungs).

Here is a lovely scene where Xena and Gabrielle have just been to the shops (Aldi I think) and come back home with a warm glow having seen many products thwey are intertested in, all products are priced competitifgively (i am not sponsoired by Aldi or Lidl for this video).

Hear we have another loverly scene with xenA and gabriellE. here they've returned home having spent some time with some boys under the nearby arches, were I tink they probably did some drugs and bush sex. Like I say this show is great!

Finally Here in this seen we have xnea gabrielle and Joxer (played by Spiderman director Sam Raimi's brother known to the police as "the paul maycock slayer"). in this scene (from episode S09E76) our dashing heroins have agreed to do a photoshoot for the TV Times, which was a prominant publication during ancient greek times.

somerthing else you should know is tht this show is what gave Alex Kurtman his big break and as you know all too well, I have a massive fukern crush of Kurtzman, mainly because his name contains a "z" (a letter of the alhabet I foind highly erotic) b ut also because he's got one of those faces you just want wanna to punch over and over again. I can't quite explain it but look at hoim

look at ghim again

no i really mean it, look at him? Dont you wanna rip you panties and tampon off and suck hm hard?

look at him again

look at him again

look at him agauin

by now you should be as impressed with his fox dust as I have been and I wanrt to use this opportunity to speak to alex kurtzman diredctly. I therefor ask that you now look away and read another one of my blogs as this following segment is for Alex J Kurtman's eyes only. Please go read another blog. PLease leave an read no fuhrer.

Hi Alex Kurtman, now w'err alone, I've recorded a little video of myself and my botty that I want you to look at - this is for you my love. I want this video to be inside your eyes. I wanr you to understand the passions inside my body.

look at my lovely shanks. Can I tempt you inside? If so, please call my mom's cellphonie and tell her where and when we can meet and she'll whatsapp me the details. This isn't a joke, I really mean this Alex.Can I call you Alex? Will you be mine? My hot moist slots want to thank you for making me watch xena at the factory I load skulls in

 

My review of India Jones and a Grate Sirkle

Good morning you 
idiots. I'm in a massive fucking rush today so this blog will have to be quick

Todays the subject of the blog I'm about to write is the reviews I've done for indian Jonah and the greatest circus

Welll, what can I say about this game. During the calendar month of january I played this (I also live -streamed it on Twitch for those who are of interest) and I also

• Leave me alone in Darlaston
• Thats how I turn my belly off
• Wikipedia soft reboot

I really am in hurry so I'll review the entire game now!

This is a screenshot

I loveed this bit it was my favoerite

This is aonrther screenshot

This it sthe boity where you go to asia and kill a wolf with a wanger

This is an earlier bit of the game whwere you visit egypt station. This was my faverite oart pf the game because you got to digitally snog a fucking wolf

this is another screenshot where you visit france and get to kill a whole heard of wolfs, this was my favoueite part

The best bit of the game is herew you have to sit down with a wolf and compose a short limierick about the devils in walsall who keep pinching my bins

I'm so horny, I'm so horngash bell XI 

        sneet                                =if(A2=A3, "fart on base", "kleema")

I think thats

I have 8 seconds left before I have to pick u Lunt from the hospital so I'll rattle through ther things I must tell you

WONDERFUL if Fred can call me after 3pm, he needs to fix the ceiling

Hank For washenth

Please finally take a look at my action figure colecovision, I have over 9 million of these beauties and ecvery nght I sit in front of my funk paps and prey to god that nobody will every invent a way to make plastic harmful to the planet in any way

I have a website

https://romanproclamations.blogspot.com/

https://romanproclamations.blogspot.com/

https://romanproclamations.blogspot.com/

You've probably never heard of it because it's on the dark web, I dont like that phrase cos its raciost so I tend to call it the cunternet zeldong I'm mister bulldoppers

Every time I go to a new paraglider the font changes. BLOGSPOT get your fucking house in ord 

In memorys of Bryan Blesserd

 

hello everyone

hello to my friends and fans too

Today I learned about rhw sad news that has broken viua th news channels about the sad news of the death of someone hoo i was sad ti learn of when I looked at the news tody on y news websoite app

Mssrs Brian and Blessed have both died. fucken RIP!!!!

Brian May was a fucking legend in my house growing up, we were forever sirtting down as family to watch the Brian Blessed hour on the BBC

In honor of his passing I have crushed out the followeing poem

Brian, brian, Brian
Brian, brian brain

You were a  lovely man

You were lovely, man

Tonight I shall be in your

Skull for a final rummage

Smick my leaves, smick my rage

I look in your eyes and I weep

I am destined to be your heaven wife

God, you'd better let him visit me as ghost

I need a ghost sexer

Now for some honourable photos I have from my colleection of Brian Adams photos. This is one of my faves as it shows BB (as I call  him, lol() reading a passage of Harry POtter some some infants. Look at the sensitiveity in his beard as he whispers the bit where Dobby dies:::

A few yeas ago I had the priveldge of visiting Iceland and was tekken 7 to the coast of Malibu to whitness t he magestic ways Brian Foster would fling himself out of water for my attention. This is my favourite picture of her:

oh wait I just learned his not dead today after all. He's apparently still not dead, which means he's alive. If this is tyhe case please come back and read this blog after hes dead.

Spreadsheets for Gaza

 Oh my frindds I've today been experimenting with Microslot Excel. Did you know thid was a thing?

As part of my job at Greggs, my manager asked me to list all of the animals I cna think of and how many pasties (or sausage rolls) we can sell to them next fiscal year. Now check this out you fucking gob!!!

I first opened Excel (I got Abdul from IT to install it on a front wolf unit) and was immedaite;y confused because there are all these white boxes. but, I watched a few videos on youtube (thanks Pete) and wqas able to create this. As you cna see in column B I listed all the animals I could think of and in column C I listed how many pasties I think each aniaml will buy next time.

I still dont know how to put it into pie chart which is my ultimate goal as we dont sell pies at the moment since the incident with that Lockerby survivior who demanded a pie for his dead husband

Later that same evening we sat down to make love and watch Titanic and this memorable scene featuring Kate Downesyndrome and Leo Di fridgeraiders flashed across my tits

I ama woman (I know some of you keep asking me abut this) but I (am) and I can tell you mate that if my tits were like this I'd have em out all the time. As it stands my tits arte fucking shit. they look like somebody took a manila envelope filled with rice pudding and crushed it under the wheel of a 747.

Saying that I do have plenrty of admirers. oh yes, dont be fooled my sex is still in high demand. ONly last week I was fucked by a health inspecter under the canal bridge. I give his thrusters 7 out of 10.

next weeks blog post will be aimed at teaching you how tyo bake morgan freeman's diabetes medicne into a lovely pie

Forgot I was listenin to Joe Rosh

 I'm such an idiot, in my last blog I titled it to inform you I've been listening to Joe Jogan but I never mentioed it in my content. Ha ha ha, I work hard but I party hard bab.

Joe Rogo is a  massive billy whizz fan. He spent over an hour talking abouty Billy Whizz with a guest thhe other day who I think was a man but he wasn't black so I cant be sure.

                           nd the egg whites are all you need to survi

hey have you guys heard of "memes" apparenrtly you can trade them with people who live in old folks homes and it helps the envirnments. not sure how, lol, I think its something to do with molgo pellets but dont quote me on this.

my son Joshua got a new job operating one of them big cranes they use to build super tall buildings, but apparentrly instead of picking up a big slab of fucking concrete he installed Plex on his  chest skin and the whole thing came a crashing down which killed all the children in Acocks Green. Oh well.

I havent talked about my sone Joshua for ages. He's been in hospitcal for a while to be fair, mainly because his fucking tampy muscle has been in scoom but frat frat frat macke me came on paper bags

you gotta be strong in this world or face the ceonsequences. If you not strong people will walk all over you. you underatand? If you dont want to be atrampled on by all the imigrents you must learn to show your dominance. TYherefore I'll be in Waterstones this saturday at 5pm to lunch my new book which teaches you how to bench cats in front of filthy imigrants in order to intimidate them and get your way with your dangly shit. My publisher (Dr Terrence-Trent Morbid-Sick) has just forwarded my (by email attachment) a preview of the cover of the  book which features my daughter Lunt. I think its pretty sleed.

look at that fat fucking cow listing a cat on ebay. by the time she's finishoimng benching that cunt her muscles will be so powerful and oily, I can only dream of having such a lovely family incident. My phone number is smashed into Mesty Croft boolean slot cruncher

Goodnight my daughter.