My review of Legend of Zelder; Tears of the Kingdom

 Hello all. Oh hang on, let me change the font yeah thats better.

So I haven't writter anyhing on here for a few years becuse I've been working on my analysis of the 1992 Beano Annual, the one that come out in 1998. However, unless you been living under a rock (lol) you've probably herd about thhe video game thats tekken the world by storm in recent weeks; Legder of Zeld Tears of Kingdom. With it being such a big deal, I figured I should play it for a few months on my Nintdo Switch and provide my indept review here.

What is this game? What us Zeldda? What is video game?

I'll answer these questions inrecevere order

But my blouse popped open and the bus driver refused to grab my front wobblies

vid ame is a form of entertain where you go to a shop and buy a catridge, and when you pop this cartridge into your game console or PC, it plays a fuck game. Somrtimes you can play Pong, and sometimes you can play the Final Fantasy. I this case we're talking about Teaes of the Kingdom, so stop yelling at me

This is the game okay?

The bus driver's name was Sukhdev Turned out he didn't mind being surprised by my blouse jewels just as the school kids were getting on, he said it made his day feel like he'd been to a Disneyland

You can buy a video game called Tears of the Kingdom from Amazon for over £20. I' not sure how much it really is, my research has hit a wall

What unique about this game?  You can buy fuses in tge hgame. Fuses are importnt to the gameplay

You can also ultra hand like this::

Hwo do you play in Zelda? Good question lovly boys, you play as Zelda. Here's a picture of

 Zelda

I

When you buy and play this game you willsee how it transformed my life. Before i played it i was a lonely old lady living in a deflated bouncy castle, but now I've play it I cna saferly say it's best ideo game I've ever met. Here's an example

The other day my new husband's gran was visiting for sunday dinner and the way she ate her gravy made me want to puke my eyeballs outinto my ear drums, but I walked over ot my N64 and calmlmey tirned this game on and quickly played it for 40 houres and by the time I was done, she had drowned

My dad's operation went bad

 Hi all,

Those of you who follow this blog religiously will know I've been talkig aout my dad a lot lately. he recently fell off my shed and broke his ankles in the mud. Why was he up on my shed I hear you ask? Well, I'd asked him y=to fit a new egg system up there

When he came crashing down I was in th e shower but the whole hosue shook. I jumped out of the shower and went to his aid but it was too late, his ankles had snapped clean off.

This is a picture of my dadd

So last night he went to a hospital to have his legs examined by doctor but it turns out theres nothing yhey can do do doop to helk him 

I herey demand/ask/beg you to say at least sixteen prayers for his legs, if I can get everyody in china to prey for him at the same time maybe his feet will grow back, hopefully uof ot the ends od his leg stumps

Well-wishers from across the gloe have aready sent in their messages of support, and one chap from Friends Reuninted (sorry bab,  cant recLL YOUR NAME) has set up a petition on Change.org to have sheds and/or falling off them made illegal

Ths is the scene outside my dad's hospital room

If you want tyo support my dad or other men who have fallen off my shed you can do so by buyng a crucifix off a website. I'm not sponsored by this website

Buy a cross

Thats all for now. remember, here's a close up of my dad's facea and if you have it open on your laptop while walking through town, show it to everyody one you meet and ask them to feel sorry for me dad

My thoughts on the council elections

Here's what today's blog am about: 

That's a screenshot taken from an iPhone showing the latest BBC news website homepage address. NOw, now, lets talk about this carmly, I believe in change I believe in all the same good things you do. I believe all white males should be neutered in oeder to let us BAME people have a fucking shot. That's why I support Kia Starman

Keither Starme is the freshest politikian to come out of the policy hole in lifetime. I supporg him 100% percent. 

Why DO YOU SUpport him I hear you ask me?

Well, I'll tell you, right after this ad break

Buy Cadburys Twix bars now!!!!!!

back to the news story. I support Kiia Starma because last year somebody set fire to my car outside my grans house. I stood at my window and screamed for a hundred hours waiting for it to rain or for a fireman to appear or whatever, but lo and behold, Sir Kiar Starmer came running up the street to help.

Here's a picture I took ofhim as he was emitting howls of sadness over my car's hot skeleton

Strsight after this picture was taken, he fainted and landed on a partially burned pigeon. It was the kindest gesture I've ever seen a man make and I instantly knew he was making mating manoeuvres at me. unfortunately, I had onyl just been married that morning and he was a total gent about it and ran off to do prime ministers questions

Some people dont believe thid ever happened, but if you look closely at this picture, you can see my face reflected in his eyes as I took the photo

Ths is why is will always vote labour. Thank you Sir Kier Starma. I love you.

Oh yeah thats another thing, hes a fucking knight. Do you think the queen would've knighted him if she thought he was shit? I dont think so

I love you sir ian mckellen

This week I will be mostly draw

here is my entery fot this week's illustartion friday contest. they refuse to tell us what the word is so Ive had to guess

I emailed illustrator friday with an email I typed on my keybord asking them why they wont tell us the word. TO my horror thay were so rude that they took the entire website down and preternded to be dead. I'm not ut off by this though, here is my fucking art work. accept it! 

Now, Mrs Bentley liked to teach up Shakerspear, especialls Romei and Ju;;iet, but I dont think even she would have the patience for this bullshit. 

If you have a spare minute go to Change.org and set up a compaign to bring Friday back. I dont know how to do it!!!!!!!

I' sick of this fucking bullshit, all I wat to do is tell my truth

 

My Review of Star Trek Picard Season 3

 I haven't posted anything today so I gohught I would give you my review of star TREK season 4our now the finale has aired.

Well, what do I say aout this hsow. It's gret. Really great. I watched all 3 episodes and I'm glad I binge watched it because I would've been neeger

What did you like about it the most I hear you type?Well I love the fact that it brings the old crew back to gether and not only that, not only that not only that, but it fixes a lot of the mistakes that earlier shows have done to shar trek. The most horrible one was when they recast the man in that Episode the Most Toys. 

I was glad, when watching the show, which is how I like to enjoyit, that they used cutting edge CGI like what they did with Luke Skywalker in that other trk show, to bring back the man who was originally cast as FaRJAR in the MOst Toys. Here's a flipping thing I angery with Dawn up the road

woops I added a picture by mistarke

WOYC

WOw! Photoshop has got really good

 I had just finished writted tyhe last blog post when I opened photoshop to see if anything was happening, and I disucovered a load of new features they've added

These new fetures care called "FILTeRS". Upon seeing these I decided to immediately push myself deep inside them and see if I c  an make some lovely stomach art based upon my favoutite personal trainer, CHristopher Hitches. Just so we can see where I started from, here's my fvourite picteer of Christopher, taken for television show

Now, I'll be honest, I keepa laminated picture of this in my purse whenever I go shopping, to the police station, etc, so you can believe me when I say it's near and deer to my hearg. But now ladies and gentlemen, here is what I did firsy. I applied a filter and got thid amazing result

Isnt that cool but no wait i didnt stop then. I did this

Then I did this

Pleaser note that this image is now 3D. You can look at this while walking around your phone or tabelet and see how Majel Barret has now emerged from the painting. This is a scientific thing known to painters, namely than whenever you make a picture break 3dlaws, Majel emergeges. I believe thr equation is known to him

Something similar happened when the Band Blur forced The Fighting Temeraire into 3D back in the 90s

My Tomb Raider 2 Review

 Helllo grans, today I heere to review Tomb Raider 2. Here is the box art

So what is Tombph Read you ask? I'm serious, did somebody just ask me that? I could've sworn I heard one of you asking me that throuhg my monitor.

Tomb Raider is a third person veideo game from the year of our lord 1991. It was mde y eidos inter ac and distributed by core. Or is t theoher way around.

Anyway, the main protagonyst in Tomp Raoder is Larr Crarrft. She's a strong perowerful female and she has already earner her right to vote in the 1923 election. I think Stanley Baldwin willw ill winn winn

Oh, just changing the subject for a minute, have either of you two readrts ever seen the movie Fawlty Towers with Bazil Fawrlty? I was just reading an internet and discovered this hiden gem on somebody's heart so I took a photo with my camera...

Do you see that caption? It reads "Basil Fawlty Gives New Car A Good Thrashing"

Thatsa word people dont use enough. "Thrashing". "Threashing". "Last niht I was threashed". "hey mom, here comes Vera from next door, how about we go outside ahd give her a good thrashing over?" 

Yeah I like that word. I also like the wrd "Chund

Anyway, were was I oh yeah Tom Rader 1. So yeah I plyed this game for girl's birthday bomb went off and the living room wall was gone. Police say it was IRA the Undisovered Country but me mate DAve from down the pub reckons it was a frantic magpie that was looking for a mate. Proponants of the theory hold that magpies can become explosive to the tune of 2 megatones of TNT mixed with a Cadurys Twirl bar when they're ready to conceive a baby. I dont know if thats true but

NOw I want to change tact and put a second blog post right in this one

THE STAFFORDSHIRE HOARD

Did you know that some years back, a man or a woman found a staffordshire heard? It was loads of metal that some prehistoric MAGA hat leftfor Richard to lent

Legend has it that he who founds the hard is destined for pleen. Is it pleen or dreed?

It is dreed