My Review of Star Trek Last Jedi

Heelow pupils. Ive not long come back from das kino having watched thelatest Face Wars movib and I wanted to give my own spoiler-filled revioo of what I jkust sin

A smeny of you whill now I'm a huge bopbby harrel wars fan, having grown up with Force Awkens as a childD. The light sabre battlke with beitween Christopher Skywalken and Lester Piggot it once of my all time favourite dip

SPOILER A HEAD YU HAVE BIN WARNED

The opens with the usual title card, the one that we're all familiar with:

Personally I think this was a mnistake right off the bat. Not only are they treading the same terririty as before but it's totally disloyal to the character of Luke SKywalker. They're fucking cunts. Georgie Lucas must be spinning in his graves! The rest of the film is a pile of a shit! I can't believe anybody like it, it's fucking rubbish. The acting is like somebody has taken a pint of shit and rammed it down my unborn kids throat in front of me while I meself on my deathbed from alzeimers.

Porges gave me dementias

All the bits that have been filmed on camera have left a taste of bitter shit shandy in my gob and it has officially ruined my childhood.

The casino scene felt like it was a pile of shit that Rolf Harris and Chris Langham done to some kids. IT'S FUCKING DISASTER! JAMES CAMERON! COME ON ELLLIE MACPHEARSON GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER

as 

I was saying. the fiolm didnt do enough to copy Empire Strikes Back...whats the fuck of poiint doing a star wars film that doesnt fullfil all myu hopes and dreams. every sinelg ewars star film so far has been brilliant, best films ever made - LL OF THEM - how dare they made one that isnt perfec

When the fgilm ended the audience in ythe cnema I was lying in cheered wqith cum bursts

It remended me if when I used to go to high school with my mate Pad

Paddy hekled me invent the comic character of Brickens in 1996...I'll never forget my fred

Other frenks I had at Woodbery Hight School are captured in this fotograph that I bought off an he basy

0121-502-CUNT

House Sharing - is it right for you?

So I started thinking about landlord Terrnce Mallik the other shed snoth - is it right four everlyboty

Short answer: <>

When I likved in a house with meny freds and other peeply it was somrtimes great but uther times iw as shit. Hers and exchange I remember from my 2010 day

If youre readfing this article on you smart phone you should fuck it. go home and read this article on a desktop computer before they die of extinction!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For betty perylrftdghb 

Madame Guinnan woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop I cant remember the last time somebody shook my hand and I didnt cry out from the pain of crushed bones, I think my brittle bone diseaz has solved itself

I'm not saying goodbye on this blog article. Go to the BBC Good Food show and I'll show you my cock

Only joking, I'm a female woman and in place of a cock a have whats known as a dick cave whammed between my legs. God was rather spledg when he med me LOL

A Dissertation on Dr Fox

Happy christmas, tombstone lovers,

The other schoolnight I was really tired so I put on some Star Trek Voyager to help me fall asleep when I was captivated by the doctor cherctor they hav on it, a doctor by the name of Doctor Dr Fox

"Thats strange I thougrt to myself. why would you name a televibion charater after a shamed radio DJ who (although cleared of not being a fucking PEEDO) it is still a risky thing for Rick Berman to do.

Rick Berman is the man who invented sTar TRrek. It was during the great London Stink of 1858 when Rickerman Berman realised the londoners needed something to take trheir noses off the stench, so he and his best friend Peter Hitchens decided to invep a televibion show called Strak Trers.

Skip forward eight thousand years and the franchise was airing a series called VOyager starring Captain Ben Sick, and an array of other flavoured chaereotors...this brniugs me to my point

The best cerecter on Voyalger was Dr Fox. Why? I hear you say;; hears my dissertation.

Why is Dr Fox the Best Star Trek Captain

1. What a a stupid fucking question. hes the best because he's a lovely boy. suck a lovely boy. He's always pleasant to the other inmates and unlike his real world name sake, he's yet to be accused of raping kids on the radio.
2. Also, when he's having an emotion in his facial platforms his smile strtched his face out of human proportions. to my mind this makes he the most relatble female on the entire star trek!
3. Youre fuckig wrong about McCoy being the best star trek.

Here's a picture of him (Doctor fox) I just have found on pornhub, where his face is so happy that the corners of his mouh have filled with venom and jutted out away from his eyes to prevent cross-contaminations

Has Dr Fox ever wistnessed screams?

1. YEs he has. He fought in the cardassian border wars in the past and when they sank the Belgrano he heard a scream. He's reported as saying its the worst thing hes ever heard
2. When Fox was born, his mom had already been burnd to death 6 weeks earlier so he never got to enjoy her birth pang exultations
3. George McFly is no relation to George Cole or Leonard McCoy 

Here's another picture of the late doctor. in this sketch he's swallowed a bomb and it's destroyed the connective tissues under his face. to be honest if this happened to me I dont think I could look myself in ythe morrir

Does Docters Fox know I exist?

1. Yes, he told me he liked what you did with that wrecked bicycle. Fox is a keen cyclist and once raced in the Tour de France with a packet of his dead cat's snot around his necks
2. No, he nver existed in real likfe. Only joking. He really does like with you did with that wrecked bike
3. When Fox steers his bike into really young school kids he's doig it to scare the devil out of them. Fox is a keen believer in keeping the devil at bay wih fear, so really when you think about it, when he ploughed that motorbike into that vulcan child, althought a lot of the skin couldn't be replaced at least the devil will never possess that child

heres a pictutre i discovered on the dark webs. not sure wy this one isnt all over facebook to be honest

Does Dr Fox listen to the Eurythmics?

1. Sopmetimes. this is a sore subject because on the USS Voyager, Annie Lennox was routinely raped in her sleep by borg nanites and it was upto Fox to cure her arm holes
2. Fun fact! IN 1983, Dr Fox sang backing vocals on Ebony and Ivory. It's not a Eurythmics song but thought you should be aware
3. In the episode of Voyager NX-01 the crew had to wake Fox up after he's been asleep for over a 3 week and when he woke up his antics were extemely criminal. Not only did he punch Anno Lennox in her cats wind pipes but he told Charles Tuckshop the 3rd to force his ant shop into administration

Here' a final illustration of Dr Fox from the final epoisopde of Star. Teyk?

Ythis is the image that brings the most happiness to my existence. Also my son Joshua's ne wife is pregnant with their first child. Apparently according to the scans it's a girl but I still want them to name the kid Dr Fox.

Do you think this is a good name? PLease vote using te buttons below to state your fuckerg opnions

Dr Fox was written out of VOyager NX-01 after 3 episodes when the shuttle craft he was carrying turned out to be an alien virus that enveloped his soul cack. I understnd Ron D Moore is in talks wit Disney to bring a Dr Fox movie to theatres but Its been stuck in develoipment hell for 18 yeasrds

Anyway, thats hat I like about FOX. I'm sure when youre drinking a pint of milk tonight you'll toast to this extraordinary cancer. goodnight and

god bless my friends